“Brothers and sisters: Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. 

So be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us as a sacrificial offering to God for a fragrant aroma.” (Ephesians 4:30-5:2)

Today I pray for:

• the ability to imitate Christ
• the courage to live in love
• the willingness to offer myself as a sacrifice to God

I understand that there is only so much of me that I can give to other people, so I am discerning and prioritizing for the sake of survival. It is possible to love many people, but I cannot realistically serve them all outside of the prayers I offer for them.

I do know my heart has a yearning for more authentic friendships, and I am trying to focus my efforts on those relationships that are most fruitful. 

It grieves me to realize that certain ties are not as strong as they once were, but it’s something I just need to accept so I can move forward. One day, they will know how much I love them. It may not happen in this life, and I just have to be okay with that.

And then there are my kids, who truly need me more than anyone else in this world. This audio of me and Kali was made a year ago, and my heart broke when it dawned on me that time is passing by way too quickly for us.  

 
My little ones are not so little anymore and the moments with them are fleeting. This is really where my focus should be. With a million and one things going on in my life, they deserve more of me than they’ve been getting. And this is where I need to start. Right now.