Month: May 2013

Parenthood: Why in the World Would You Do THAT?

.Reading time 7 minutes.

Two-year-old Kali is just getting over the stomach flu. And for the last two days, I’ve been fighting it, too. It’s horrible when the kids are not feeling well, but when you’re sick right along with them – not to mention, 5 months pregnant – the experience can be downright miserable.

I read an awesome article yesterday by Bobby Angel who wrote about his growing anticipation for his August wedding to Catholic singing sensation Jackie Francois. He described marriage as a “big, beautiful inconvenience”. It brought me back eight years when Gary and I were approaching our own wedding, waiting for that first kiss at the altar…knowing that after traveling two very broken roads, we would actually be united in the holy sacrament of Marriage. There would be much compromise, forgiveness, acceptance, and humility that was absolutely necessary for a successful marriage – none of which is ever a “walk in the park”. In good times and in bad, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. The vows alone gave us the heads-up that it wasn’t going to be easy, but we took consolation in the strength we would receive from God to be faithful.

What does this have to do with kids and the stomach flu? A lot. The common thread that runs through these experiences is Bobby’s very carefully chosen word: “INCONVENIENCE”. It would have been easier for me to stay single. It would have perhaps been more convenient for me to somehow find my way into a convent somewhere in the world, just because I really treasured solitude. But when God creates us for a particular vocation, there is a call within our hearts that we cannot ignore. For those who prayerfully discern that call, the path is very clear.

After we got married, the next natural phase that followed was parenthood. There was a deep desire to have children, the God-given fruit of married love. When we talked about babies in our future, we often pictured ourselves cradling precious bundles of joy full of coos and playful smiles…holding our toddlers’ hands as they enthusiastically skipped towards the playground…cheering at basketball games…applauding proudly at their graduations…our eyes filled with tears at their weddings (or ordinations!). At the same time, we also accepted that motherhood and fatherhood also came with great responsibility and sacrifice. As a woman, I understood that my body would stretch and ache beyond belief as each child developed within my womb. The first few months of life with each newborn were inundated with sleepless nights, dirty diaper changes, and the mystery of reading the cries and signals that left us both baffled and exhausted. The difficult role of disciplinarian kicked in at about 18 months to 2 years old when time-outs and “I said NO” become more and more frequent.

Then there are days like yesterday when we’re rushing out the door to go to work and we have to stop to clean vomit off of the floor. It’s the times where we are as nauseous as our kids, and we need to figure out why they’re screaming. Kali told me he wanted something in the fridge but didn’t have the words to tell me exactly what it was. Milk? Cereal? Cherries? Water? And I’m crying through my frustration praying to God, “HELP ME, LORD!” All I wanted to do was sleep!

So why did we get married? And why do we even bother having more children if it’s all so…inconvenient?

The answer is LOVE.

When we truly love, we want to give. We look past our comfort, our egos, and our personal desires for the sake of another. Our greatest fulfillment lies in doing something for someone that they will never be able to fully repay. For five years, I watched my husband cast aside his own ambitions to care for our three children at home. He lost sleep, gave up regular hang-outs with the guys, and put his career on hold – all because he wanted our kids to have one of us there with them. And this summer, it will be my turn. Gary will be going back to work, and I will leave my job of 12 years as a Catholic school teacher to have our fourth baby in October and continue homeschooling the kids. It’s a HUGE transition for us. I don’t do well interiorly with big changes, but it’s for the good of our family. If we just stay close to Jesus, ask Mama Mary to intercede for us, and beg the Holy Spirit for guidance, all will be well.

For every interruption…for every challenging moment…for every trial, I will trust that God’s blessings will be even more abundant. If it means that I become less selfish and more generous, less discouraged and more trusting, less self-reliant and more dependent on grace…PRAISE THE LORD. Amen!

For Bobby’s marriage article, click here:  Marriage – A Big, Beautiful Inconvenience

20130530-103335.jpg
The Dyogi kids

“Yes, having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” ~Bill Cosby, Fatherhood

+AMDG+

“Hey, you, the Superhero!”

.Reading time 6 minutes.

Yeah, I’m talking to YOU!

The ordinary person made to do extraordinary things who is sitting in front of your computer right now…or lounging in bed on your iPad/phone…reading this, thinking, “Sorry, you must be talking to the wrong person, sister.”

Nope, I got it right. Think about it. Superheroes usually have very humble beginnings. Looking at these people, you would never guess they had the ability fly…leap from tall buildings in a single bound…much less save the world from evil. But they are particularly chosen and given special powers to help society, set aside for an incredible mission that must be completed for the good of all humanity.

YOU have been chosen. YOU have been endowed with amazing gifts called “charisms” that are meant to be used for the salvation of souls. In this time. In this very place. For this era that you have been born into, God wants to use you in a powerful way – to the same extent and with the same passion and intensity that He used every saint who has lived before you.

Saint? Yes, I say. You were made to be a saint! A spiritual superhero – filled with wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord – who is involved in the world, not as a spectator but as salt and light. You are meant to join the ranks of St. Paul…Sts. Perpetua and Felicity…St. Patrick…St. Martin de Porres…St. Teresa of Avila…St. Damien of Moloka’i…St. Josephine Bakhita…St. Maria Goretti…St. Maximilian Kolbe…St. Toribio Romo, and the countless faithful who left the mark of Jesus Christ in both the crosses they bore and the victories they claimed for His Kingdom.

But, see, you are not supposed to be another St. Pio of Pietrelcina, St. Kateri Tekakwitha, or St. Lorenzo Ruiz. You are supposed to be YOU.

On this feast of Pentecost, it is crucial for each of us to remember who we are in the eyes of God. WE ARE HIS CHILDREN. So that we are not left to our own devices, the Father and the Son sent us the very Love between them – the gift of the Holy Spirit, the third Person of the Trinity – to dwell within our hearts and set us on fire with a flame that would purify our lives and empower us with an ardent desire to spread the Gospel message in word and in deed.

St. Paul says in Ephesians 4:1-7, “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”

Upon accepting this gift, we should act heroically. We should love heroically. We should help save the world from utter spiritual destruction. We should be courageous enough to risk ridicule and criticism to give to others what we ourselves have received.

The greatest encouragement we hear from Jesus Himself is that we are not alone. As He was dying, He gave to us His own Mother. He sent the disciples out to the villages two by two. He established the Church before He ascended to the Father. We have the entire communion of saints – Church Triumphant in Heaven, Church Militant here on earth, and Church Suffering in Purgatory – to intercede for each one of us in the work we are called to do.

This holy assembly is much more powerful than any Justice League, ensemble of X-Men, Superfriends, or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Amen? AMEN!

Above all, we have Jesus our Lord and Savior Himself…God Incarnate…promise to us His very presence in the Great Commission: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Mt 28:19-20).

So now is the time… Rise up, you superheroes of the Kingdom, and become who you were made to be!

+AMDG+